Life O’Life


Caregiving and the Anger Dilemma

It’s okay. Listen you are human; you have a lot on your plate taking care of someone else or sometimes two family members. You are running around picking up prescriptions, buying their groceries, reading mail, paying their bills, organizing their prescriptions, making sure they take the medicine, cook, clean the house and sometimes clean the family member.

It can get overwhelming and depressing especially when you have to go home and make sure your own house is in order. The loss of your personal time and basic rest can cause anyone to lose-their-cool. There are no secrets to avoiding anger while caregiving. The thing is; you don’t want to end up repeating the cycle that’s not good for you physically or your family member(s).

When you get angry; ask yourself why am I angry? If something is not working; take a step back to see how it can work better for you (the caregiver) and how it can benefit the family member.

If you’re feeling angry from being overworked; ask for help. I know I sound like a broken record, but there is nothing wrong with asking for help. You are one-person; get over the superhero complex; know your caregiving kryptonite and learn to take a break.

Taking a break from caregiving is not a sin. It doesn’t mean you don’t care about the family member or members. You will be surprised how much better your mind will work when you look at the problem from a different angle.

What ways have you discovered that helped you to deal with the caregiving anger dilemma? Let me know in the comment box.


Life O’Life

Let’s Talk About It…

Sex, Intimacy and the Caregiver

David WendyYou knew it was coming (no pun intended). Let’s dive in: when you are a caregiver of a family member or members wanting to be intimate with your mate is the last thing on your mind.

A majority of the time the caregiver is thinking “please, Lord, not tonight; I just want to shower and go to sleep.” Although, the caregiver may not say it verbally to his or her mate the sentiment is there, but the mind is not connected in that area enough to allow the caregiver to want physical intimacy.

How can you clear your mind over things like their medicines, their appointments, their insurance battles, their needs, their needs and their needs? It is draining and if you’re not careful it can and will drain your desire because let’s face it; as a caregiver you see too much and the last thing you want to see at the end of the day is another one.

Here’s my advice to bring intimacy back into your life. When you go home; you are home. That’s your time to do whatever you want to do with your life. Turn the caregiver switch off. It may seem difficult in the beginning, but the more you practice the better you will become turning off the switch.

  1. Take a bath or shower to wash away the day
  2. Brush your teeth it seems silly, but you will be surprised how your mood lifts as well as your confidence
  3. Make the bed
  4. Put on some nice music
  5. Go fancy with the meal even if it’s take-out serve it just as if you made it yourself
  6. Sit with your mate; have a conversation (nothing serious, just carefree banter)
  7. Flirt with your mate during the meal
  8. Give your mate hugs and gentle kisses on the cheek and neck
  9. Sit on the sofa and watch television while holding hands

Finally, go for broke! Tell your mate that you’re still in love and want to make love! Even if you don’t feel like it; fake it until to make it!

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